How To Train Your Human:
A guide to reintroducing your human to the home environment, for cats.

Step 1:  Snooze.  Sleep on your human's bed as much as possible prior to her return from an extensive absence. This ensures that your human will recognize and bond to your scent upon return.

Step 2: Welcome.  Greet your human briefly upon her return but do not linger for any amount of time.

Step 3: Snub.  Ignore your human for at least 24hours, so that your absence is more keenly felt and your presence made more desirous.

Step 4: Enjoy!  Reap the benefits of your labor by enjoying a warm lap and much cuddling.  Be sure to vocalize your pleasure as your purr is particularly addictive to your human, and you will therefore garner increased adoration.